Will The Real Ann Coulter Please Shut Up?

It's no secret that I hate Ann Coulter. When it comes to people who exist simply to incite, instead of educate or add to the discussion or debate in any meaningful way, she is up there with O'Reilly and, to a lesser extent, an out-of-office/off-the-ticket (and therefore more irrelevant than ever) Palin.

I'm 99% sure that Coulter isn't as crazy as she seems. Instead, I think she's incredibly smart, and just says stupid stuff to get attention. (Kind of like Palin, but without the blind ignorance and "you betchas") Well, Ms. C has been up to her old tricks, and recently told an audience at CPAC that there should be more journalists in jail.

A woman asked Coulter, “What is more important though to American values–being friends with Israel still, or knowing there are jailed dissidents and journalists [in Egypt]?”

“What do you mean knowing that there are jailed journalists?” Coulter said. “I think there should be more jailed journalists.”

Her comments apparently generated a big ol' round of applause.

Oh, where to go from here? [Deep breath] First, will someone please shut this woman up? Thank you in advance. Now, tell me how throwing law-abiding people in jail for doing their job—in this case, covering a major revolution in the Middle East—is a crime. (Spoiler alert: It isn't!)

If those journalists do in fact belong in jail (and I don't think they do), perhaps Coulter should be thrown in with 'em. Not because she's a journalist—she's just a shit-talking head—but just because she's a pain in the ass. Then, my friends, the world would be a better place. Safer, even.

But, seriously, forget the journalists! What about the bankers and traders and mortgage lenders who nearly destroyed the country's financial system? Why aren't they doing time? Or doctors who over-prescribe pain killers? They're essentially modern, legalized drug dealers. Or the legions of asshole cops who abuse their power? Kiddie-diddling priests! The list goes on and on.

In all truth, I don't think jail is the answer for any of these people—even Ms. Coulter. But I'm trying to make a point, here.

Speaking of jail... word is O.J. Simpson was recently beaten behind bars by a bunch of skinheads. (He's serving time in Nevada for robbery and a wonky interpretation of kidnapping, not for the alleged murder of his ex-wife and/or her lover.) The Juice was reportedly hospitalized for three weeks after the beating—yikes. And, in other jailbird news, Vince Neil began his two-week sentence this morning, after pleading guilty to D.U.I last month. (He got two weeks, despite it being his not first offense, and having drank, drove and killed a person before.) I saw him at N9NE Steakhouse last night, where he joked about his imminent "vacation," saying it wasn't a big deal. He's been in jail before, so I guess he'd know. Let's hope he fares better than O.J.