Oscar Preview

Gervais: He's like to thank the Academy... 

First Ricky Gervais brought us The Office. Then, he stirred things up at the Golden Globes--and god bless him for both of those things; the world is certainly a better place because of them.


The Academy didn't invite Gervais to host the Oscars on Sunday, but that didn't stop him from writing a hilarious script, anyway. Will the actual hosts (Anne Hathaway and James Franco) use it? Probably not. But I sure wish they would. 


But no need to despair: Gervais shared the script on his blog. Meanwhile, a friend of mine has been hired to write for the Oscars (like those actors could write that banter themselves?!), and I assure you that he's half as funny as Gervais, which is about 10x as funny as I'll ever be. With that in mind, I think we're in for a good show, no matter whose script Hathaway and Franco use.

Here's a sample of Gervais' suggested scripted banter:


JF: Thank you. I'm James Franco.

AH: ...and I'm Anne Hathaway.

JF: You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you'll start to identify with him. 

AH: And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too...



To read more, click here to visit his blog.