(Of course not.)
When I first saw this video, I wondered why Playboy was doing anything on waterboarding. I mean, really, what, oh what, could possibly be sexy about waterboarding?
I figured if anyone was going to find the sexy side of torture, it'd be the guys at Playboy.
Unfortunately, it would appear that there is absolutely nothing sexy about the practice. Call it torture, call it enhanced interrogation, call it whatever you want -- just don't ever call it remotely sexy.
Despite the lack of sex appeal, this video is still worth a watch. In it, the journalist volunteers to get waterboarded -- again, not the kind of WBing described on Urban Dictionary -- to see just how hardcore the technique is.
I've often wondered what it'd be like so it's neat to see someone else volunteer -- in this case, a grown man -- thinking they could take it, they literally tap out after just a few seconds.
Tuesday
iPhone ap used to design New Yorker cover
While New Yorker artist Bob Staake is still using Photoshop 3.0 (circa 1995, people!), another artist at my favorite publication, Jorge Colombo, recently created cover artwork using nothing but his iPhone.Now how cool is that?
Granted, I still don't have an iPhone (I'm pretty sure my relic of a cameraless BlackBerry was manufactured during the Pleistocene era) but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate this, or the cool ap that Colombo used to create the design, Brushes.
The whole thing is made all the more cool when you consider how Brushes costs $5, unlike Photoshop, which costs a cool $299 for the consumer version.
OMG, TFLN... WTF?!
When I lived in Ausralia a few years ago, I didn't get it. Nobody called each other; everyone texted. It was so, so annoying.
But then it hit me. Or, should I say, bit me. And I've been texting ever since.
Fast forward a few years and everyone on this side of the pond is texting, too. And as text messages replace phone calls, good old fashioned drunk dialing is being replaced by what I call tipsy texting: text messaging friends, former lovers, current crushes and, at times, the wrong person altogether, when you're mildly-to-completely intoxicated.
Naturally, typos and innuendos abound. As do the laughs.
But unlike drunk dials, tipsy texts remain on the record, both on the sender's phone and on the recipient's handset. And online, too, thanks to the brilliant folks at Texts From Last Night.com.
The site lets you upload messages you sent or received and publishes only the area code.
Some of them are pretty funny. Others are raunchy. Most, however, are simply hilarious.
You can also sort by area code, allowing you to see what hijinks happened in your back yard the night before as you slept soundly and/or remained sober enough to avoid committing the same sort of faux-pas.
I find it curious that TFLN isn't bombarded with messages emanating from Vegas' area code, 702 -- but it's not the locals who misbehave, drink way too much at Rehab (ahem, Jeremy Shockey) and make fools of themselves.
Well, not usually, at least.
702, 212, 310, 202, 540... they're all on there. Heck, there might even be a 604, 204, 418, or, lord help us, 613 -- I haven't checked. But feel free to go have a look-see for yourself.
The site, again, is Texts From Last Night.com -- http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ -- here's the link.
But then it hit me. Or, should I say, bit me. And I've been texting ever since.
Fast forward a few years and everyone on this side of the pond is texting, too. And as text messages replace phone calls, good old fashioned drunk dialing is being replaced by what I call tipsy texting: text messaging friends, former lovers, current crushes and, at times, the wrong person altogether, when you're mildly-to-completely intoxicated.
Naturally, typos and innuendos abound. As do the laughs.
But unlike drunk dials, tipsy texts remain on the record, both on the sender's phone and on the recipient's handset. And online, too, thanks to the brilliant folks at Texts From Last Night.com.
The site lets you upload messages you sent or received and publishes only the area code.Some of them are pretty funny. Others are raunchy. Most, however, are simply hilarious.
You can also sort by area code, allowing you to see what hijinks happened in your back yard the night before as you slept soundly and/or remained sober enough to avoid committing the same sort of faux-pas.
I find it curious that TFLN isn't bombarded with messages emanating from Vegas' area code, 702 -- but it's not the locals who misbehave, drink way too much at Rehab (ahem, Jeremy Shockey) and make fools of themselves.Well, not usually, at least.
702, 212, 310, 202, 540... they're all on there. Heck, there might even be a 604, 204, 418, or, lord help us, 613 -- I haven't checked. But feel free to go have a look-see for yourself.
The site, again, is Texts From Last Night.com -- http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/ -- here's the link.
Thursday
The 8 rings of Vegas Hell
This video is a must-watch for anyone who lives (or has lived, or, heck, has spent more than a weekend) in Vegas -- if you've gambled/partied/stayed at the Hard Rock especially.
(whomever wrote this sure hated the Hard Rock. For the record, I don't think the place is that bad -- this short just does a really good job of exploiting its cheesiest characteristics -- which, of course, aren't exclusive to HRH.)
The premise goes like this: Two friends decide to go to Vegas where they quickly find themselves sucked in by the douchebaggage emanating from the city's very core.
Armed with four talking sidekicks -- a condom, an obnoxious/ugly shirt, a cell phone and a money clip -- the guys have all they need. They hop a plane (modeled after Virgin's signature fleet of dance-dance-revolution/dance-dance-aeroplanos) and head to Sin City.
Once in sunny LV, they wear tacky shirts, party at tacky clubs, and -- lord have mercy -- go to the tackiest place in the entire cesspool: Rehab (The Hard Rock's pool party, not the self-help place; THIS rehab is as opposite of self-help as you can get... from what I understand, you have to be a straight-up masochist (or completely insane) to voluntarily go there.)
Needless to say, debauchery ensues: The guys do a few kilos of coke, sleep with a bimbo, and party with the devil.
At any rate, animation is great, the story is funny and you should totally check it out.
Enjoy.
(whomever wrote this sure hated the Hard Rock. For the record, I don't think the place is that bad -- this short just does a really good job of exploiting its cheesiest characteristics -- which, of course, aren't exclusive to HRH.)
The premise goes like this: Two friends decide to go to Vegas where they quickly find themselves sucked in by the douchebaggage emanating from the city's very core.
Armed with four talking sidekicks -- a condom, an obnoxious/ugly shirt, a cell phone and a money clip -- the guys have all they need. They hop a plane (modeled after Virgin's signature fleet of dance-dance-revolution/dance-dance-aeroplanos) and head to Sin City.
Once in sunny LV, they wear tacky shirts, party at tacky clubs, and -- lord have mercy -- go to the tackiest place in the entire cesspool: Rehab (The Hard Rock's pool party, not the self-help place; THIS rehab is as opposite of self-help as you can get... from what I understand, you have to be a straight-up masochist (or completely insane) to voluntarily go there.)
Needless to say, debauchery ensues: The guys do a few kilos of coke, sleep with a bimbo, and party with the devil.
At any rate, animation is great, the story is funny and you should totally check it out.
Enjoy.
Aaaaaall the single ladies...
Naturally, no cheesy girlie playlist would be complete without Beyoncé's "Single Ladies."
(Hey, I tried to warn you.)
In case you live under a rock (or just have far better taste in music AND the ability to filter out this kind of mainstream garbage) the video for the song -- which, for the record, we heard played FIVE times at Moon this Valentine's Day, and we arrived at midnight -- is at the top.
Apparently I'm not alone in my love for this song. Or for the already-dated SNL parody of the music video, featuring Ms. Sasha Fierce herself, along with Justin Timberlake (who I actually have come to respect as a result of all his self-depreciating work on SNL); my non-romantic funny man crush, Andy Samberg, and the always enjoyable Bobby Moynihan.
The skit, which premiered on NBC back in November, was by far my favorite few minutes of SNL in a long, long time.
It parodies the Beyoncé's sexy video using leotarded-up Timberlake, Samberg and Moynihan in the place of the very sexy, very female back-up dancers in the actual video.
Naturally, hilarity ensues.
My favorite part:
"You boys warmed up?"
"Oh we're warmed up."
"We're warmed up like biscuits."
"Yeah, dance biscuits."
As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a few other "Single Ladies" parodies today while I was trotting though YouTube.
They include an Italian version featuring 22-year-old daughter, 42-year-old mother and 66-year-old grandmother; and a Dan Band parody (yet another gem from FunnyOrDie.com).
So to all the single ladies out there, enjoy.
And to all the single guys: enjoy the videos, too -- just remember not to take your girl for granted because before you know it, your fine-behinded version of Beyoncé might be on her way out the door, leaving you with nothing more than the chorus a-ringin' in your ears: "If you like it then you should've put a ring on it..."
"Uh-uh-oh, uh-uh-oh, uh-uh-oh, uh-uh-oh..."
;)
Wednesday
Mother-lover-hood: growing on me
At first I wasn't a fan but this clip featuring Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg is growing on me. Also, the Susan-Sarandon-Rocks meter has reached an all-time high because of it.
Check it out:
Check it out:
Lego rock
Metallica rocks and so does Lego. Why it took this long to put two and two together is a mystery -- but better late than never.
PS- Is it just me or has Kirk Hammett put on weight?
PPS- James Hetfield sure is mellowing with age.
PS- Is it just me or has Kirk Hammett put on weight?
PPS- James Hetfield sure is mellowing with age.
Sunday
I get the best spam
I don't know what it is about me, but I always seem to find myself in the wrong target audiences.
Walking down The Strip, the "lady card" guys are always shoving their lady-covered cards at me.
Am I really their target market? Do the guys I walk next to look that gay? Or is it obvious that I wear the pants in the presumed relationship, and therefore, would be the one who would make the decision to, ahem, spice things up and give one of the ladies featured on the cards a call/try?
Whatever.
And I've already blogged about Facebook's stupid ad strategy.
Yet my e-mail spam also seems to have me confused for a guy. But unlike the hawkers' lady cards, the misguided spam I get makes me laugh. In fact -- and dare I say -- I both enjoy it and look forward to it.
Not that I'm looking to "keep (my) rod iron for hours," (iron-hard? maybe, but rod iron? No thanks.) "unleash (my) male power," or try some "free penis pills."
Some of them are downright hilarious. Some of the recent gems:
"Britney naked again!" (oh, no, not again...)
"Take this, my Don Juan, so your body won't let you down at hot rendezvous" (ooh! rendezvous! sounds classy...)
"The size of can of Coke -- believe us it's no joke. (it rhymes so it must me true.)
I swear I'm not making this up. Don't believe me? Check out the screen shot of my junk mail filter.
Walking down The Strip, the "lady card" guys are always shoving their lady-covered cards at me.
Am I really their target market? Do the guys I walk next to look that gay? Or is it obvious that I wear the pants in the presumed relationship, and therefore, would be the one who would make the decision to, ahem, spice things up and give one of the ladies featured on the cards a call/try?
Whatever.
And I've already blogged about Facebook's stupid ad strategy.
Yet my e-mail spam also seems to have me confused for a guy. But unlike the hawkers' lady cards, the misguided spam I get makes me laugh. In fact -- and dare I say -- I both enjoy it and look forward to it.
Not that I'm looking to "keep (my) rod iron for hours," (iron-hard? maybe, but rod iron? No thanks.) "unleash (my) male power," or try some "free penis pills."Some of them are downright hilarious. Some of the recent gems:
"Britney naked again!" (oh, no, not again...)
"Take this, my Don Juan, so your body won't let you down at hot rendezvous" (ooh! rendezvous! sounds classy...)
"The size of can of Coke -- believe us it's no joke. (it rhymes so it must me true.)
I swear I'm not making this up. Don't believe me? Check out the screen shot of my junk mail filter.
Friday
Bearded wonders
The 2009 NHL playoffs are in full swing and that means one thing: Playoff beards are out in full force and things are getting, well, hairy.
Granted, none of these guys have anything going on like a certain Perth third basemen did in 2007 (that we're aware of, at least) -- that's right, I'm talking about you, Scalabrini -- but that doesn't mean the Blackhawks' playoff beards aren't awesome.
See for yourself:
Granted, none of these guys have anything going on like a certain Perth third basemen did in 2007 (that we're aware of, at least) -- that's right, I'm talking about you, Scalabrini -- but that doesn't mean the Blackhawks' playoff beards aren't awesome.
See for yourself:
Tuesday
Tom Morello tweets smarter, not harder
THIS is why I love former Rage Against the Machine guitarist Tom Morello:
He's smart, political, and bold.
And he never takes the easy way out, either.
Oh, and he plays badass guitar, too. Right.
While he could use Twitter to tweet about his morning coffee (like Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro) or, better yet, give some tickets to away for some upcoming shows,* he doesn't. Instead, he uses his new Twitter account and subsequent feed to comment on society and point out how stupid and superficial the world can be -- and make all of his "followers" think, too.
Shameless plug of the day: I wrote a good story about Navarro's tweeting about a month ago. If you haven't already, read it by clicking here.
Morello is currently on tour with his new band, Street Sweeper Social Club, and will be in Vegas in a few days, at Wasted Space on Sunday and the Pearl on Monday.
(SSSC is opening for Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction's current NINJA tour.)
Follow Morello on Twitter via tmorello; Navarro via davenavarro6767; Reznor via trent_reznor; and/or yours truly via marseniuk. And be sure to catch NINJA at the Pearl on Monday if you can -- it's shaping up to be a great show, despite Perry Farrell's calf injury.
* NIN's frontman, Trent Reznor, is an extremely tech-savvy member of Twitter nation, and has been giving away five tickets and backstage passes to any show in the U.S. every day for about a week now. Navarro gives tickets to shows away via Twitter, too, but only for shows that same night, and no backstage passes.
He's smart, political, and bold. And he never takes the easy way out, either.
Oh, and he plays badass guitar, too. Right.
While he could use Twitter to tweet about his morning coffee (like Jane's Addiction guitarist Dave Navarro) or, better yet, give some tickets to away for some upcoming shows,* he doesn't. Instead, he uses his new Twitter account and subsequent feed to comment on society and point out how stupid and superficial the world can be -- and make all of his "followers" think, too.
Shameless plug of the day: I wrote a good story about Navarro's tweeting about a month ago. If you haven't already, read it by clicking here.
Morello is currently on tour with his new band, Street Sweeper Social Club, and will be in Vegas in a few days, at Wasted Space on Sunday and the Pearl on Monday.
(SSSC is opening for Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction's current NINJA tour.)
Follow Morello on Twitter via tmorello; Navarro via davenavarro6767; Reznor via trent_reznor; and/or yours truly via marseniuk. And be sure to catch NINJA at the Pearl on Monday if you can -- it's shaping up to be a great show, despite Perry Farrell's calf injury.
* NIN's frontman, Trent Reznor, is an extremely tech-savvy member of Twitter nation, and has been giving away five tickets and backstage passes to any show in the U.S. every day for about a week now. Navarro gives tickets to shows away via Twitter, too, but only for shows that same night, and no backstage passes.
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