The Aunt I Never Knew I Had ... and Now Love

The Aunt Eeee I never knew I had

I don't subscribe to or read much of Elle, but an old column of "Ask E. Jean" was recently featured on the Daily Beast (my new guilty pleasure! Follow DB on Twitter!), so I read it and, surprisingly enough, I liked it.

I don't usually care for the fluffy, superficial and useless chatter in womens magazines, but this one was good. It was real, it was well-written, and it was useful—even though it was months old.

In the column, 17-year Elle veteran columnist Ms. Eeee outlines the 25 things every woman should know. (Read it! It won't take long, I promise.)

The crucial Cliff's Notes:

• Regarding men: "Tell him what you want him to do, reward him when he does it, and ignore him when he doesn’t do it."
• Do onto others as you'd do onto them. Ask yourself, "What would happen if everyone in the world believed this idea and behaved as I’m behaving now?" I.E.: "If you’re considering lying to your boss to save your job, imagine a universal law that says everyone must lie to his or her boss."
• Always choose action over words. She was referring to actions under the covers and pillow talk, but it applies beyond the bedroom, too.
• Don’t expect a man to give you multiple orgasms. "Indeed, you’ll live a more fulfilling life if you don’t expect a man to give you multiple anything."

Although it's chock-full of useful gems and cheeky wisdom shared, I didn't agree with everything dear Aunt Eeee had to say in her column—toward the end of the list, especially. For example, I firmly believe that grades do matter (#15), even though they aren't everything (if you want to work for Google, they will look at your college GPA—so it better be good). Also, I don't give money to panhandlers (#18) but, in my defense, I do offer to buy the occasional sandwich for someone who's truly hungry for lunch and not just another fix; I would never introduce a boyfriend as my fiancé, no matter how badly I wanted him to propose (#18); chasing men is not the highest purpose in life (#23), and I'm friends with nearly all my exes (#25) because they are great people and, while sure, things between us fizzled, that doesn't mean they can't be fun, interesting, smart friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bed to prop up (#6)...