The Liberal leadership race took place this past weekend in Montreal. Now, as a self-confessed political junkie, I can’t help but comment on the shenanigans.
First off, it all sounded like a lot of fun. I wish I could’ve been there – not as a card-carrying, ballot-voting Liberal, but just as a fly on the wall. Why? Well, the Liberals, it seems, know how to party. At least at their convention, where all the ingredients for a scandal-ridden, cocktail-driven few days of insanity were present: long hours with little sleep= irrational decisions; skipping meals but sipping drinks= lowered inhibitions; “I’m Liberal” thongs and red “liberal” condoms a plenty; and, of course, Belinda Stronach. It was a potentially toxic combination.
+ 
+ 
= trouble!(I tried to find a pic of the famed Liberal thong, but failed. Sorry, folks).
I wish I was there to see it all, but I wasn’t. But maybe if I was there, I’d understand how it all happened. Ok, Iggy was on top, Rae was #2 and Kennedy and Dion were virtually tied for 3rd place. But how did thousands of apparently educated, politically savvy people end up choosing Dion? Quebecers don’t like him, and he can hardly speak English. I’d like to see him go door to door in Alberta. Rick Mercer should accompany him; now THAT would be award-winning comedy (well, at least good enough for a Gemeni)
I feel bad for Dion, really. He looks like a rodent and political cartoonists have been portraying him as such for years already. Sadly, nobody likes a rat. He’s got some great ideas, especially about the environment – if he can deliver them is a different story altogether, but I digress – but I would’ve liked to see Kennedy win. Canada having a PM named Kennedy would do a lot for American relations (Plus, he’s from the West, is relatively popular in Quebec, and would’ve been the most voter-friendly across the board). I’m glad Ignatieff (aka Ignoramus) didn’t win. He’s too inexperienced and isn’t ready. And Rae, man, where to start? The guy won’t even say if he’ll stick around since he didn‘t win the party leadership. What kind of “leader” is that, if he wants to be #1 or nothing at all? Come on.
I’m comforted knowing Kennedy, or GK as some call him, will play a large role in Dion’s government – regardless of whether it is a minority or majority government. And I think considering all options, Dion isn’t too bad. He was my #2 choice, when I think about it, and it could’ve been worse.
But did anyone listen to the speeches on Friday night? I did, but I’m not sure if the commentators on CBC radio were. I only tuned in as Dion was getting cut off my the music at the end, so I’m not sure what, exactly, he had said. But I head GK, Rae, and Iggy speak, and the former blew the latter two out of the water. I think it was obvious Rae’s speechwriter stayed up all night partying and forgot to write his address until moments before he took the stage. It wouldn’t surprise me if his speech notes were scribbled on cocktail napkins. It was so general, so politically vague, and just went on and on without saying a word. The way Rae continuously repeated himself was annoying beyond belief, and by the end I wasn’t sure if it was an overused literary device or if he actually has some sort of stutter. In short, it was ridiculous. Ignatieff followed, and it was the first time I’ve ever really heard him speak. Turns out he sounds like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. His slow, robotic delivery was creepy and condescending. He as if he was addressing a room full of three year olds. He was a Harvard professor, they say, and his speech made me wonder what his university lectures must’ve been like – and made me want to talk to his former students and ask how many of them managed to stay awake. I gave him an A for Awful.
But the next day Dion was crowned the winner, so really, who cares? They also sold out of size medium Liberal thongs. The party is over, my friends.
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