Sincere thanks and belly laughs to Team Chuckle! for this gem.
How the Recession Changed CES:
- Sprawling Panasonic booth partially converted into hotel for transients
- This year's hottest gadgets: anything with gold components
- Giveaway USB sticks replaced by actual sticks
- Booth babes no longer paid in cash, but are now permitted to sell apples and take in laundry
- VIP luncheons catered by the Salvation Army
- Las Vegas Convention Center replaces central heating with barrels full of burning HP laptop batteries
- Monster Cable presents VIP-only performance by the bass player from Sugar Ray
- Shuttle buses replaced by bicycle rickshaws
- John Bunnell will tase himself to get those free hats back
- Naming-rights deal means Las Vegas is now known as Little Shenzhen
- Hall of Innovation moved to burned-out house in Detroit
- Leave a business card at the LG booth for a free malaria vaccination
- Rolling blackouts due to theft of copper wire by attendees
- Instead of plying buyers with cocaine at lavish after-hours parties, company reps now offer a paper bag full of spray paint in the parking lot
- Most booths now staffed remotely from Bangalore
- Steve Ballmer replaced at keynote by homeless man who says nothing but "Bing" for two hours
- If 3D HDTV sales do not meet expectations, Samsung threatens to launch a worldwide wave of suicide bombings
- Hoover booth replaced by Hooverville
- First visitor to Microsoft booth gets a free Windows 7 phone. And so does every other visitor
- This year's slogan: "CES: Now In 3D!"
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