Clash of the tree-hugging titans

The environment is a mess, we all know that. (Some are still in denial, sure, but deep down they've got to have an ounce of smarts somewhere.)

Yet today's question is not who is right or who is wrong. It is not which party has the best environmental record, or whose carbon footprint is bigger than whose.

What I want to know is this:

Who would win the battle for environmental supremacy, if it was fought in a WWE freestyle match: John Baird or Al Gore?

I can see it now:

"Ladies and Gentlemen! In this corner, wearing the blue shorts, standing 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighing in at 190 pounds, all the way from the wilds of Nepean, John "the hammer" Baird! ... And in the other corner, also wearing blue shorts, standing 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighing in at 205 pounds, the man who conveniently brought us the inconvenient truth, Al Gore!"

"Now... Let's get it on!"   *DING DING!*

Naturally, David Suzuki  (wearing green shorts woven from all-natural fibres, standing 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighing in at 145 pounds) would take on the winner of the first match. My prediction: if he takes on Baird, he'd pull out some crazy judo moves and surprise us all (make sure to put down a few dollars on that match-up; I'm sure the odds would pay handsomely). But if Gore won round 1, he and Suzuki wouldn't settle their battle royale in the ring. They'd be more likely to decide the winner through a tree hug-off...

A brief background:

Just days after John Baird announced the Tories' plan to cut greenhouse gas emissions, former U.S. vice-president Al Gore dismissed it as "a complete and total fraud." Environment Minister Baird countered, saying, " It is difficult to accept criticism from someone who preaches about climate change, but who never submitted the Kyoto Protocol to a vote in the United States Senate, who never did as much as Canada is now doing to fight climate change during eight years in office..."
Mr. Baird seemed to forget his government has done sweet F-A to help the environment, despite being more than a year into its 4-year term — and that it was his party's nemesis, now-Liberal leader Stéphane Dion (who was the Liberal 's Minister of Environment at the time) who pushed to commit Canada to Kyoto. Mr. Baird also failed to recall how the day before, he called for the nation to pull-out of the agreement and not look back. (such minor details, yes, I know... how silly of me to dwell on them — sorry, folks.)

Environmentalist and former Nature of Things host David Suzuki also pooh-poohed Mr. Baird's "plan" — which, in case you're wondering, is a watered down environmental strategy that would see Canada abandon its Kyoto Accord commitments. It calls for air pollution to be cut in half by 2015, and for greenhouse gases to be reduced to levels five per cent above 1990 levels over the next 13 years. Yawn. Or should I say, wheeze and hack...

Somehow, PM Harper managed to keep a straight face while defending his party's, as he put it, "tough" new plan.