Selling homes: image doesn't matter, apparently

Image matters in this day and age, whether we want to admit it or not.
Or so we've been told.
For most of us, our personal image is not all that crucial to our professional success, but for people like real estate agents — people who put their faces on signs in effort to attract business — you'd think they'd try a little harder than the rest of us schlubs. But no, they don't seem to.
As I casually trolled the local real estate market yesterday, I was astonished by the lack of professional-looking agents there were. So much for image being everything in this judgemental, materialistic society of ours.
If these people are still able to make a living while looking so foolish, I think the whole idea of self-presentation is a sham (and if that's the case, I'm changing back into my sweatpants, folks!)

Really, now. They can't be serious. I mean, would you buy a house from this guy?

.... he looks like a Latin dance instructor, soap opera villain, or professional hustler. Or maybe all three. He doesn't look like a respectable real estate agent.

And what about this woman?

... she's not even interested enough to make eye contact. Her portrait gives the impression that she's unmotivated and avoids confrontation; anything but outgoing. The lack of effort she's put into her hairstyle also doesn't help matters... aren't real estate agents supposed to exude professionalism, trust, and confidence? The poor woman is the opposite; she's more like the poster girl for a crisis help line.

Moving right along, there's this lady:

Is she a church lady, a school bus driver, or the chain smoking bingo-playing lady from down the street? I'm not sure, but either way, I would never buy a house from her. Or a low-cost condo, for that matter.

Lastly, we have this guy, who, despite his mismatched eyebrows, appears to be one of the more prominent agents in the area:

He seems to have photoshoped himself off of another other person who originally appeared next to him in the photo — a former partner? ex-wife? we'll never know — and it adds to the intrigue.
In the end, it (like image, apparently) doesn't matter. He's still smiling, despite whatever might lie in his salty past. And you know what? Good on 'em.
Now if you'll excuse me, my sweatpants are calling my name...

To those who deserve it, happy Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day, a day for us to honour the women who gave us life
and thank them for all they've done.
As much as I appreciate my mom, I won't be rushing out to buy her a
sappy card or a bouquet of overpriced flowers this Sunday. It's not
the commercialism of the holiday that deters me - I just don't think
cards or flowers do the woman justice.
And that $35 brunch won't cut it, either - if I took her to one of
those things, she'd probably lecture me about spending money
foolishly. (After all, she can make delicate eggs benedict, bake
scrumptious scones, and whip up waffles like nobody's business - and
hers taste better than the restaurant's, of course.)
For me, Mother's Day is a special day to look back and acknowledge
all that my mom has done for me - and what I put her through as a
teenager, as well. The exercise reminds me why mothers get a day to
themselves: they really deserve it.
Older and slightly wiser, I can now look back and see what a pain in
the ass I was as a child. It gives me a renewed sense of respect for
mothers like mine who do their jobs so well.
To be a true parent is a terribly unpopular job. Befriending
teenaged offspring and being "the cool mom" is a much easier and
tempting option - but my mom never took the bait.
And in the end, I'm glad I had that I the mom I did instead of
someone like Stiffler's famous party-hardy mom. (But just for the
record, mom, all of my guy friends used to tell me how "hot" you were
- some of them still do - so I guess you must share some attributes
with the renowned M.I.L.F.)
So mom, this Mother's Day, I want to say thank you. Again. In case
you forgot since the last time I told you, I am sincerely grateful for
all you've done for me over the years.
Not that I've always been particularly appreciative.
I still remember how mad I was when you refused to extend my curfew
past 12:30 a.m. I was always the first one to leave the party, but in
retrospect, you did the right thing. Sure, the early cut-off had me
resenting you for the majority of my high school years, but you were
right: not much good ever happens after midnight.
And thanks for taking the time to follow-up with my friends' parents
to make sure my alibis always checked out, too. Granted, they usually
did - but only because I knew you'd find out if I fibbed. It kept me
fuming, but honest.
When I acted like an irresponsible child, you somehow managed to
treat me like an adult. You were usually far more rational than I was,
though at the time I was convinced of the opposite.
Being my mother was anything but easy. I was a grumpy, self-absorbed
and rude teenager. Anyone who lived under the same roof as my
adolescent self deserves a medal - but you rarely let my unpredictable
mood swings stop you from anything. Through it all, you demonstrated
the truth that is behind the philosophy, "a mother's love is
unconditional." Though I don't know how you did it, you never lost
faith in me. Thanks, ma.
I used to think you just didn't get me, but now I realize you always
got me, totally and completely. That's why I couldn't stand you - 90%
of the time, you knew what I was thinking and were able to stop my
trouble-making before I had a chance to get started. You busted me for
things I didn't even do, which I still find incredibly impressive. Way
to nip those problems in the bud.
You were never afraid to be the bad guy, to put your foot down, or to
teach me a hard lesson. Having such a strong mother was terribly
frustrating at times, but it also was exactly what I needed. I think
the world could use more moms like you.
Despite all of our blow-outs, my mother is now one of my closest
friends. She is an incredible source of support that is always there
for me. My mom's my rock, and always has been. It just took me a while
to realize it.
Thanks for everything, mom. Happy Mother's Day.

Man, I wish I could get fired like these guys...

There's not much to encourage high-ranking managers and CEOs to work hard these days. Really, it's enough to make me want to give up journalism and become a failed executive...

The Man gets paid very well for his work. And when a big dog gets the boot or just chooses to abandon his post, the will still cash-in.

Some examples: Hydro One paid its outgoing CEO $3-million; the former boss of OC Transpo, Alain Carle, received about $130,000 after being fired after just six months on the job; when Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation chief executive, Duncan Brown, stepped-down in March, he pocketed nearly three-quarters of a million dollars on his way out the door. And the list goes on.

My question: will someone pay me $720,000 to get lost? How 'bout if I volunteer to disappear?

(It's tough to be hard on Greg Geddes, who worked for the city for 23 years and was fired last month during a shake-up at city hall. The job he had for the past three years was deemed no longer needed, so he was given to golden heave-ho to the tune of $270,000. But still... )

Clash of the tree-hugging titans

The environment is a mess, we all know that. (Some are still in denial, sure, but deep down they've got to have an ounce of smarts somewhere.)

Yet today's question is not who is right or who is wrong. It is not which party has the best environmental record, or whose carbon footprint is bigger than whose.

What I want to know is this:

Who would win the battle for environmental supremacy, if it was fought in a WWE freestyle match: John Baird or Al Gore?

I can see it now:

"Ladies and Gentlemen! In this corner, wearing the blue shorts, standing 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighing in at 190 pounds, all the way from the wilds of Nepean, John "the hammer" Baird! ... And in the other corner, also wearing blue shorts, standing 6 feet 1 inch tall and weighing in at 205 pounds, the man who conveniently brought us the inconvenient truth, Al Gore!"

"Now... Let's get it on!"   *DING DING!*

Naturally, David Suzuki  (wearing green shorts woven from all-natural fibres, standing 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighing in at 145 pounds) would take on the winner of the first match. My prediction: if he takes on Baird, he'd pull out some crazy judo moves and surprise us all (make sure to put down a few dollars on that match-up; I'm sure the odds would pay handsomely). But if Gore won round 1, he and Suzuki wouldn't settle their battle royale in the ring. They'd be more likely to decide the winner through a tree hug-off...

A brief background:

Just days after John Baird announced the Tories' plan to cut greenhouse gas emissions, former U.S. vice-president Al Gore dismissed it as "a complete and total fraud." Environment Minister Baird countered, saying, " It is difficult to accept criticism from someone who preaches about climate change, but who never submitted the Kyoto Protocol to a vote in the United States Senate, who never did as much as Canada is now doing to fight climate change during eight years in office..."
Mr. Baird seemed to forget his government has done sweet F-A to help the environment, despite being more than a year into its 4-year term — and that it was his party's nemesis, now-Liberal leader Stéphane Dion (who was the Liberal 's Minister of Environment at the time) who pushed to commit Canada to Kyoto. Mr. Baird also failed to recall how the day before, he called for the nation to pull-out of the agreement and not look back. (such minor details, yes, I know... how silly of me to dwell on them — sorry, folks.)

Environmentalist and former Nature of Things host David Suzuki also pooh-poohed Mr. Baird's "plan" — which, in case you're wondering, is a watered down environmental strategy that would see Canada abandon its Kyoto Accord commitments. It calls for air pollution to be cut in half by 2015, and for greenhouse gases to be reduced to levels five per cent above 1990 levels over the next 13 years. Yawn. Or should I say, wheeze and hack...

Somehow, PM Harper managed to keep a straight face while defending his party's, as he put it, "tough" new plan.