Seriously, now: what possesses people to buy yellow Chevy Cavaliers? I mean, it's a wonder in itself that people choose to drive Cavaliers in the first place... but... yellow ones?!
I admit I don't drive the nicest car. It’s 4 years old now and it's painted a color that I hate, as well: silver. But it could be worse; it could be yellow. And I didn't choose the color of my car. I bought it used, and in a pinch. But I digress...
Yellow family cars should be banned. Worldwide. They are ugly, scream “desperate loser,” and make people look stupid. And it's not like we need help looking moronic---the 80s leftover mullets and WWF t-shirts do enough for society.
Come on, now, people! There is nothing cool about a Chevy Cavalier. Painting it yellow doesn't make it cooler. In fact, I contend that painting it yellow makes it more uncool. And no, those cheesy vinyl decals don’t help, either. That's right, mister: you're not fooling anyone. Not anymore.
I find it peculiar that Chevy has churned out yellow Cavaliers, but you don’t see Ford rolling out yellow Falcons or Tempos. Hmmm.
Now I understand that some people (myself included) don't have the cash to go out and buy a sweet, pimped-out car. Or truck, for that matter. But that's okay. I---unlike Mr. Yellow Cavalier Driver---know my place. Perhaps Mr. YCD should take notes.
Yellow is a color that should be reserved for impressive, and dare I say, exclusive cars. High-end, top-shelf sports cars, like vipers. Vipers are special cars, and they can be yellow if they want to be. But there's nothing impressive, exclusive, or special about a Chevy Cavalier.
You're 34 years old, you have a baby's car seat in the back seat. Give it up, buddy: the dream is still alive, but you, my friend, are not living that dream.
Monday
the increasingly strange world of NHL hockey
HOCKEY... the best game I can name
I understand why Americans don't get into hockey as much as Canadians do. Televised hockey in the U.S. is pretty terrible. I watch it cuz it's all I got, but I still pine for the CBC. You can't tell me that "The Heineken Premium Light Intermission Report" has the same ring to it as "Coach's Corner." And while Eddie Olczyk does have one of the best names a hockey player could ever ask for, he's no Ron MacLean (nor is Bill Clement). In game 5, the NBC intermission report contained more chitter chatter about GOLF than it did about hockey. Game 6 was about 50% gold. Thankfully---finally---in game 7, they managed to concentrate on (gasp) hockey for the entire break. I don't know how they did it, but... yeah, it was amazing.
Ok, next tangent: the trusty playoff beard. Let me say it once and for all, I am glad these things only rear their ugly heads (faces?) once a year. I contend that they're just as nasty as three-week-old undies, but unlike the sight and stench of the grotty gotch, the hideous playoff beard is out there for all to see. And while I'm all for personal hygiene, I'm not one for hockey players that look like hutterites. Guys should keep their facial hair in check, no matter what time of the season it is. I've had my own not-so-nice encounters with playoff beards, and I think the ball players do it right: if you lose a game, you lose the beard. Or at least part of it. Try the playoff goatee, the playoff fu-man-chu, or my personal favorite, the playoff sideburns. I would not recommend the playoff chest hair, however... that, my friends, is just plain wrong.
Ok, the game's on... game on!
I understand why Americans don't get into hockey as much as Canadians do. Televised hockey in the U.S. is pretty terrible. I watch it cuz it's all I got, but I still pine for the CBC. You can't tell me that "The Heineken Premium Light Intermission Report" has the same ring to it as "Coach's Corner." And while Eddie Olczyk does have one of the best names a hockey player could ever ask for, he's no Ron MacLean (nor is Bill Clement). In game 5, the NBC intermission report contained more chitter chatter about GOLF than it did about hockey. Game 6 was about 50% gold. Thankfully---finally---in game 7, they managed to concentrate on (gasp) hockey for the entire break. I don't know how they did it, but... yeah, it was amazing.
Ok, next tangent: the trusty playoff beard. Let me say it once and for all, I am glad these things only rear their ugly heads (faces?) once a year. I contend that they're just as nasty as three-week-old undies, but unlike the sight and stench of the grotty gotch, the hideous playoff beard is out there for all to see. And while I'm all for personal hygiene, I'm not one for hockey players that look like hutterites. Guys should keep their facial hair in check, no matter what time of the season it is. I've had my own not-so-nice encounters with playoff beards, and I think the ball players do it right: if you lose a game, you lose the beard. Or at least part of it. Try the playoff goatee, the playoff fu-man-chu, or my personal favorite, the playoff sideburns. I would not recommend the playoff chest hair, however... that, my friends, is just plain wrong.
Ok, the game's on... game on!
Introducing...
Welcome to The Crazy Train of Thought, the archive for my random rants and ramblings about anything and everything that comes to mind and makes me think. Anything is fair game here, from politics to penguins---so consider yourself warned.
I can't guarantee regular updates, meaningful topics, or non-partisan views... but I can promise you authentic, passionate, and ridiculous writing courtesy of yours truly. And I hope you enjoy it.
M
I can't guarantee regular updates, meaningful topics, or non-partisan views... but I can promise you authentic, passionate, and ridiculous writing courtesy of yours truly. And I hope you enjoy it.
M
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)